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The Problem Is Dwarfed By Their Audacity
Jun. 23rd, 2025 09:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead The Problem Is Dwarfed By Their Audacity
A mother and her child (maybe four years old?) come in the store to buy a pet. I try to steer them toward guinea pigs because they are more social and easier to handle, but the child wants a dwarf hamster, literally the exact opposite temperament.
Me: *To the Mom.* "You will have to supervise their interactions because dwarf hamsters communicate with their teeth; they bite. Also, if he gets out, there is basically no chance of finding him again."
When Karma Makes Cents
Jun. 23rd, 2025 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Me: "Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
Customer: *Rudely and gruffly.* "No!"
They give no more information, so I am forced to enquire:
Me: "I'm sorry to hear that. What could you not find today?"
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2025 06:05 pmnotalwaysright_feed(My sister-in-law has been unable to come into the house due to drama and her making the choice to leave. She is manipulative and an abuser to her husband and children. It has been 2 months since she’s been at the house and she isn’t allowed to be in the house without my Mother-in-law or […]
That Joke Went Over Like An Iceberg To Your Hull
Jun. 23rd, 2025 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead That Joke Went Over Like An Iceberg To Your Hull
Me: *Pointing* “Is that meant to be bookshop humour?”
This Better Not Become A Signature Problem
Jun. 23rd, 2025 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead This Better Not Become A Signature Problem
The customer takes a collection of credit cards from his wallet and shows me their backs.
Customer: "Nobody can forge my signature because I do a different one every time I sign it!"
Talking Turkey About Expectations
Jun. 23rd, 2025 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Talking Turkey About Expectations
Customer: "Why is it taking so long? I’ve got to be on the road in ten minutes."
Me: "I just need another minute or two for your half-pound of turkey."
Customer: "It shouldn’t take this long. At the place I usually go, they have it ready before I even finish ordering."
We Wish Her A Suite Sixteen
Jun. 23rd, 2025 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead We Wish Her A Suite Sixteen
Enter our summer high school hire.
She couldn't drive (too young), she couldn't build pizzas (too clumsy), so she just took orders. Whenever an order came in from an office building, they would include their suite number. Instead of just putting that number in the apartment field, she would put 'SUITE ###'. The system would accept all those characters, but the printout would only include the first five characters: 'SUITE'.
BC = Bad Choices
Jun. 23rd, 2025 03:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead BC = Bad Choices
I work in a history museum and am giving a tour to a group about ancient Egypt. I'm explaining the timelines of certain pharaohs when one of the group members says to us all:
Guest: "Weren't those people clever to know how many years BC they were!"
Read BC = Bad Choices
Dad Did A Job On You
Jun. 23rd, 2025 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Dad Did A Job On You
I love my dad, but he thinks that holding the same job for over twenty years and then retiring has made him an expert on the modern job market. Some of the tips he's given me on how to find a job in 2025:
Read Dad Did A Job On You
Happy Birthday, White Guy!
Jun. 23rd, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedSarah C. writes,
"I was answering a hundred questions while ordering the cake for my husband, Guy's, birthday.
'Cake?'
'Yellow.'
'Icing?'
'Buttercream.'
'What do you want it to say?'
'Happy Birthday, Guy.'
'What color do you want that written in?'
'White.'
"When I went back to pick it up, the woman at the bakery - who wasn't the decorator - gave me a strange look."
And I think I see why:
"And all the fishes say I'm pretty fly for a (White) Guy!"
Thanks to Sarah C., who agrees that (White) Guy is looking awful green.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Their Argument Is Collapsing
Jun. 23rd, 2025 01:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Their Argument Is Collapsing
Roommate: "Did you throw out that chair?!"
Me: "Yes...?"
Roommate: "Why?!"
Me: "It was broken."
Roommate: "No, it wasn't!"
Some Customers Literally Want The Moon, Part 2
Jun. 23rd, 2025 01:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Some Customers Literally Want The Moon, Part 2
It is April 8, 2024, and it's solar eclipse day in the USA. Our convenience store has a sign up saying we're closing during the eclipse so that we can all go outside and enjoy seeing it.
Customer: *Reading the sign.* "You guys, too? Everyone is making too much of a fuss over this eclipse thing."
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed(My family has to rake the front and backyard of our home, and living in a small rural town of less than five hundred, it’s a lot. Taking almost the whole weekend with four people working on it. My sisters and I used to love watching these online videos called ‘Vines’, and would sometimes quote […]
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:15 pmnotalwaysright_feed(My favorite actor’s father was a famous painter and I have just seen his works for the first time. I am texting a friend about this) Me: Apparently his human figures were usually either his sons canoeing or female nudes. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Friend: Well at least they’re not nudes […]
Toe-tally Destroyed
Jun. 23rd, 2025 12:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Toe-tally Destroyed
A young man calls for an appointment "as soon as possible" for a foot x-ray. The day comes, and he gives some general information to the doctor. He says he suffered a domestic accident and wanted to be sure. The doctor asks him to remove his shoe and socks. When he does, even I can tell something's very wrong with his pinky toe, because it's bruised and as purple as a plum.
Read Toe-tally Destroyed
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2025 11:30 amnotalwaysright_feedI’ve been job hunting for a while, posting my resume on the internet. One day, I missed a call, with a voice mail stating that they got my resume/application and would like to have an interview. Note that the phone number has a Florida area code, not that that means much these days. When I […]
This Conversation Is Not Tracking
Jun. 23rd, 2025 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead This Conversation Is Not Tracking
Customer: "It says that it's on the way, but it's not here. I don't understand what that means. It's not clear."
It takes me a second to try and think of an answer that isn't insulting to her intelligence before giving up and explaining:
Me: "It says it's on the way because the package hasn't been delivered yet, and that when it's been delivered, it'll change to delivered."